She is fumbling with the iPad, trying to get the music app open. It shouldn’t be this hard to just play music. Her fingers are tensing up, scared to move, the mind is bracing itself for a tsunami, while the heart and soul are eager to get this moment going.
“You are making excuses with the mind aren’t you?” the soul exclaims while rolling her eyes. “Look, it has been a couple of months, how do I know if I or we are ready?” she replies. “It is gonna suck, but we can always find new things to listen to and find new stories and memories to go along with music,” the heart shouts. She is scared of the music, the thoughts and feelings it will bring.
Music is a powerful tool, that constructs the mind to create not just sounds, but the imagery, emotions, movement, and life. Every song has a story, a meaning not just to the creator, but to those who listen to it and share it with others. Someone who listens to music to escape the real world, to live in the real world, and to share with people. From a simple word to a complex melody to a full orchestra, music is the background and the front of my life. She communicates through music. Allowing it to tell others what she wants to say, feel, touch, and dream. She dreams a lot, sometimes too much that she gets stuck. Music is nostalgic, bringing memories that may have been buried deep.
She closes her eyes, feels the heaviness in her throat, and the screaming sensation in her gut. She gently taps on the music app and it opens, one step completed. The heartbeat is rapid and creating a hum in her ears, it’s soothing, giving the feeling of a warm hug one would receive when they leave to start their first day of school. Scrolling through her playlist she finds that particular one that makes the blood flow rapidly and her eyes water. Here we go, quickly putting the playlist on shuffle she immediately is warped into another world. There is a cool breeze, it is a mild, humid day in a park. People are riding around on bicycles while others are sitting on benches drinking to the beautiful day. She is looking at the sunlight and then to her left she hears the sweet voice of someone she once knew. She doesn’t want to turn her head, this is her memory rolling through her brain like a short movie. The song keeps going and singing begins, she listens to the words as they start guiding her to the next actions. She hears him speaking and she feels her heart-tugging to just get a glimpse. “No, not yet. Let’s get to my favorite part first.” She assures her heart. The music turns upbeat and she hops on her bike and starts riding down the path. Every corner she turns the chorus chimes at the perfect time. The breeze knows exactly when to brush her skin with the exact words in the song. She smells the sweet scent of flowers with a mixture of freshly cut grass. She can sense him behind her and it makes the butterflies sing vibrantly in her stomach. Almost there, she can feel it the next turn of the chorus will bring her to that special spot in this memory. She hops off the bike and walks to the bench, he follows her. The bridge starts and the tempo slows down, she breathes in and turns her head. There he is wrapping his hands around her hip and pulling her close to him. He is smiling and she feels the warmth of his skin. She feels her cheeks and she smiles ear to ear, her heart slows down, the breeze brushes as he brushes the hair out of his face. The feelings are vivid and present her the sense of a feeling that this is real. Across from them is a dog park, busy with small bodies running around with freedom and excitement. The air is cool, the breeze calms the ailing heart, the barking it creating its own beat and she feels the tears fall down her cheeks.
The song comes to an end and she opens her eyes, cheeks warm with tears yet she is still smiling. The nostalgic feeling is there, it feels warm. Fear is starting to disappear and she moves on to the next song and closes her eyes, this time still smiling and ready to press play on the next memory.
Embarking on a brand-new discovery and fulfilling that marvelous sensation of bravery, she begins to feel herself in the music. Drums are beating in the background, her glorious entrance to a hall filled with flashy nobles and water-down peasants gives way for a Ranger to speak with the King. The sounds to trumpets bouncing off the walls making the hearts of the men quiver, she takes the quests given by the King. She is to destroy the evil presence dwelling down the dark plain across the dying world. She knows is a losing battle, for with the evil being defeated the King will drive the people to insanity. The music quiets as she looks back to the city. Lights are flickering the smell of burnt wood and sticky mud, she heads off on her journey.
She opens her eyes, the computer screen is dark, with a slight flick of the mouse, bright colors appear and several email notifications flashing to get attention. Placing her headphones down, it is time for her to get back to her work. She has started a journey, allowing the music to guide her way. The sounds, smells, touch, and sensations that make the music real, it’s intoxicating. She already knows what destination and song are going to be next. A fitting introduction of nostalgia to composing new memories and a striking soundtrack fitting any situation.
The cool green numbers showcase it is close to ten o’clock, she is laying her bed, fresh sheets caressing her skin. Carefully placing the headphones on her ears, she presses play and closes her eyes. It smells of earth, rain is pouring, drenching the Ranger as she scouts the area for enemies. The wind carries a message to her ears, a voice that whispers here name, she jolts backward and grinds her teeth. “Who speaketh my name, whereth hides in thee darkness.” The Ranger speaks.
